Loss of Innocence to the Crowning of Love

“The tiara has its roots in classical antiquity and was seen as an emblem of the loss of innocence to the crowning of love.”

Of course I am taking this explanation and going deeper with my spin on it - well because - that’s what I do.

At the time of this photo, I wore this beautiful tiara in honor of my big hearted and authentic friend MaryLynn as we showered her with the love she so deserves on her birthday the other day. I look back at this photo and reflect on the meaning of wearing a tiara.

I definitely lost my innocence to the crowning of love when I let myself fall in love and start a life with Matt. Before this love, I believed in the “fairy tale” version of relationships. You find your person, get married, maybe have children, and live until you are old and grey. That “fairy tale” didn’t happen for us …didn’t happen for me. My innocence on how love was “supposed to be” was lost the day Matt died. I made the choice to love this beautiful man, have a baby with him, and just started to add to our foundation of our love with the family we created.

These choices led me to where I am today - a young widow, solo parent, brave as fuck, an even better listener, forever learning about myself and growing no matter how hard, trauma survivor, and realist. I didn’t want this loss of innocence. I had no fucking choice. It happened to me. I’m doing the best with what I have AND I do have an abundance of love surrounding me and B every single day!

I was also innocent to believe that there could only be one great love in my life. My soulmate. Ive since learned that Matt is and always will be one of my great loves. Ive also chosen to love another great love - but this time with no innocence - with even more fear because I know how it feels to lose a great one.

The loss of innocence was definitely a fucking hard thing to grieve over the past 6 years AND it has also taught me so many lessons along the way. To live and love my true authentic self. To live my life with more confidence and independence. With intention and fewer assumptions. To not be afraid to be vulnerable and share my story with those who wish to listen. To create boundaries for myself In order to be a better friend, daughter, mother, and partner. To love myself first before attempting to love another.

I’m no longer innocent to believe in “happily ever after” - that doesn’t actually exist. Rather, I’m always striving to live presently in my life in what actually IS and not what I hope it to be. So, here I am, being authentically and unapologetically me - wearing a tiara with a silly grin! Like Comment Share